My Story, or How I Learned to Love and Accept Myself, Just the Way I Am.

“Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who could love me most of all?”
The day I looked into the mirror and asked myself that question changed my life forever. Actually it was the answer to the question…me! that changed my life.

Since I belong to a group of people (lawyers) who most people think already love themselves too much, you might be surprised to think that such a simple thing changed my life. But, as I have learned on my journey to real self-love and healing, vanity and arrogance are only expressions of fear. And that is what you will see in many lawyers (and others!)

Getting back to my story, though, I had been practicing law for about 12 years, had two beautiful children, and a well-meaning husband. I had achieved many things in my life outwardly, and yet inside I was miserable. And I didn’t even know it. I did know, however, that I was mad. Mad at my husband, for being so dominating. Mad at my clients, for not paying and “giving me a hard time.” Mad at the courts, for their unforgiving deadlines. And mad at myself, for not being able to handle it all.

By a series of coincidences that I now recognize as “Divine Intervention,” I discovered the book, You Can Heal Your Life, by Louise L. Hay. I began reading it, and the simplicity of the message immediately touched my heart. “What you send out comes back.” “What you believe about yourself, and about life, becomes true for you.” “Your thoughts create your future.” In this book, Louise said that she believed loving the self was the answer to every one of our perceived problems, and that we actually created every problem in our life, with our thoughts.

I have always been a very straightforward person, and I like simple answers that work. Louise’s words rang true for me, and I began to implement what I read. Doing mirror work, for instance. The book said making positive statements of love for yourself while looking in the mirror was a very effective way of taking your emotional “temperature,” so to speak. I tried it. The first time I looked into my own eyes and said, “I love you, I really love you, just the way you are,” I got so choked up, I couldn’t even speak. How could this be?

I began to realize that all the self-assurance and poise I had displayed was just that…a display. In truth, I felt that I was living a lie and didn’t even know who I was anymore, just pretending to be someone I wasn’t. A phony.

I kept reading the book and doing the exercises, and one day I checked out the Louise Hay website, http://www.hayhouse.com. I saw a promotion that offered the opportunity to become certified to teach Love Yourself, Heal Your Life Workshops to others. Well, I really wasn’t interested in that, but I was thirsty to know more about this miraculous book and the phenomenal woman who wrote it. So I e-mailed them for more information.

Not long thereafter, I decided to sign up for the training, a pricey, week-long certification program in San Diego. At first I still had my lawyer’s arrogance: I’m not really going to teach workshops. After all, I’m a lawyer. Then I went to San Diego. I had never been in a group situation before, where one’s personal life was revealed to a large number of people, and I felt a little afraid. But I affirmed that everything was going to be wonderful, that I would have a fantastic experience and be open and receptive to everything that occurred.

I did all the mandatory reading required before attending the program, which wasn’t hard since I loved the books, and tried to relax about the experience. In California, I met the other participants, about 40 in all, and began the first day of exercises. The minute the music started, I began to cry, and I don’t think I stopped until the day I left.

Part of me was saying, “You’re a lawyer, you can’t cry in front of all these people. Your mascara is running off, etc., etc.” And part of me said, “If I truly love myself, then I love myself, even if my makeup is ruined and I’m crying my head off in front of 40 strangers.” By the end of the week, everyone was telling me I looked 10 years younger, and I felt like a little kid. I had discovered that the joy of learning to love yourself is multiplied, many times over, when you do it with others. It was the happiest week of my life.

On the last day our group leader, Dr. Patricia Crane, lead us in a meditation to find out what our life’s purpose was, and how we could realize it. For the first time in decades, I decided I was going to trust myself, and take my own advice. When I asked my inner wisdom what my life’s purpose was, the response was “To be a beacon, to heal through love.” And how would I do that? By teaching the very workshops that had changed my life so dramatically.

I began teaching Love Yourself, Heal Your Life Workshops when I returned home, in smaller groups, and for a lesser charge. I teach “live” workshops, and by teleseminar. I want to continue feeling the joy I experienced, working in a group of people who are open to learning to love themselves, and supportive of others doing the same. Believe me, there is nothing like it! I have gained such a feeling of empowerment, joy, and true self-confidence, by learning to love and accept who I am.

I transformed my life, my health, my relationships, and my opportunities, by learning to love and accept myself, just as I am. I'm not done yet; I'm a work in progress! The point is to start. The point of power is in the present moment. So begin your journey NOW. On my website I have pages that will help you on your way, such as How to Love Yourself, Power Points, and healing thoughts from A Course in Miracles, to name a few. Wherever you start is the right place for you. Remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step.

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Mindy L. Hitchcock is a practicing attorney, and a metaphysical author, lecturer, and workshop facilitator. She is also the webmaster for Mindy Hitchcock’s Love Yourself, Heal Your Life Workshops (http://www.seamless-web.net) and Lady4Justice Law Offices (http://www.lady4justice.com). You can contact Mindy, or ask to be placed on her Love Yourself mailing list, by e-mailing her at mlhitchcock@seamless-web.net.

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