Forgiveness is a Gift You Give Yourself

Have you ever felt that someone did something to you, something that hurt you so badly you could never forgive them? Of course you have! There isn’t a single person on this planet who hasn’t had such an experience; many times over, in fact. The problem is that holding on to all that old pain keeps you stuck in the past. It can even create physical illnesses in your body, such as cancer or a heart attack.

So what can we do? How do we get rid of that old pain? The answer is simple—through the power of forgiveness. Now, you may wonder, “How can I ever forgive what they did to me?” One thing that can inspire you to try, is realizing that holding on to all that old stuff doesn’t hurt anyone but you. The person who “hurt” you probably doesn’t even know how you feel! So you’re not punishing them; you’re punishing yourself.

Another reason to forgive is because what you send out comes back to you. We all have made mistakes, and done things that hurt other people. And yet, every one of us is doing the very best we can with the knowledge, information, and experience that we have. It’s true for you, and it’s true for “them,” too. If they could have done better, they would have.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean approving of poor behavior, of course. It just means seeing things in the right perspective, in order to set yourself free. A Course in Miracles says that we see other peoples’ errors as sins, and our own errors as mistakes. Now think about that, and honestly apply it to the other person who “hurt” you. Look at the situation from their point of view. Does it look the same? And now look at the situation from the point of view of someone totally uninvolved. Does this present yet another perspective?

Now let’s turn to our “magic mirrors.” (Any mirror will do, since the “magic” is really in you.) All of our relationships are mirrors. We attract relationships that will teach us what we need to learn about ourselves.

Sit quietly, look into your magic mirror and ask yourself, “What was I trying to learn by attracting this relationship?” Look deeply into your own eyes, and let the answers come. All the answers you will ever need are inside you now. If you find that you habitually attract hurtful relationships in your life, look for the pattern, so you can learn that lesson. Write down whatever answers come into your mind. Do not judge, and do not criticize yourself. This is not about blame, it is about freedom.

Unless you learn the lesson this relationship is teaching you, I will guarantee you that this same character will reappear in your life, over and over again, until you do. They may look different, but you will know, “Here they come again.”

So look into your mirror and affirm, “I am willing to release the need to be unhappy,” and “I deserve to be happy and fulfilled.” And then say to the person you want to forgive, “I forgive you for not being the way I wanted you to be. I forgive you, and I set you free.”

If you just can’t bring yourself to say this to the person, then sit down first, and write them an angry letter. Don’t hold anything back! Let it all out, tell them exactly what is on your mind. And when you have finished, tear it up, and burn it in a safe place, saying, “I forgive you for not being the way I wanted you to be.”

Repeat this exercise over and over, until you are able to learn the lesson and let go of the hurt. Let the Universe know that you are willing to be released from the prison of the past. By releasing the past, we become open to the wonderful new experiences that await us. Don’t delay your good! Do it now.

Affirmation: “I forgive, and I set myself free.”

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Mindy L.Hitchcock is a practicing attorney, and a metaphysical author, lecturer, and workshop facilitator. She is also the webmaster for Mindy Hitchcock’s Love Yourself, Heal Your Life Workshops and LADY4JUSTICE© PLLC (http://www.lady4justice.com). You can contact Mindy, or ask to be placed on her Love Yourself mailing list, by e-mailing her at mlhitchcock@seamless-web.net.

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